Gladys Hancock, 35 years old
Feeling lonely is a totally natural place to be in— in fact, I don't know dating because lonely who hasn't found themselves struggling with feeling lonely at one time or another. But it's actually a good thing to struggle with. If you can stay single and deal with the loneliness, it's a huge learning opportunity. But far too many people jump into the first relationship they can find as soon as they feel lonely — and it's often not the right realtionship. It's really easy to do, so don't beat yourself up about it. But if you find yourself in a relationship just for the sake of being with someoneit's time to rethink it. So how do you know if you're in a relationship just because you're lonely? Here are the signs to look for.
I should point out that the ones who are actually enjoying their lives and a relationship are the ones that made a positive decision to spend some time on their own, break old patterns, rebuild their lives, and redefine themselves in a positive, loving context. In fact, I know people who feel just as alone in a room full of people, nevermind one on one with a man. If you still end up feeling lonely and riddled with insecurity in spite of the fact that you have a man in your life, why do you dating because lonely feel that having a man, having a relationship, having dalliances, having sex, having attention from these people, having an illusion, having more issues to deal with that result from being involved with these men, is the answer to your problems? If this is what worked and was the cure for your loneliness, companionship, and everything else that is going on in your life, why are so many women who are dating or in a relationship, miserable? I could sit here and talk till I am blue in the face and give you umpteen reasons why issues will continue to arise and you will continue to be unhappy, but you and only you make your choices dating because lonely where you want to go and what you want to do.
I can go weeks or months by totally myself and be completely fine. It's when I'm lonely, however, that I start noticing that I'm by myself, and it's usually then that I reactivate my Tinder account again and start swiping. Nobody wants to be just a time-filler in someone else's life. When you're dating because you're lonely, you're more likely to consistently go missing in action from the relationship itself. This person isn't a priority to you, and you'll probably eventually feel guilty and dismissive of the relationship dating because lonely. It's human to be lonely, and it's human to be flawed, but you do need to be accountable for the ways you treat people you are in an intimate relationships with.
More about dating because lonely:
I haven't been in a serious relationship for almost a year now and I'm lonely. There is a guy that is really interested in me and I'm sorta interested in him but I'm worried that I'm only considering dating him because I'm lonely and wanting to be in a relationship again. Should I give this a go or should I avoid it because I'm already not sure about it and we have only been out on one date! Yet I want to give it a go because I can be dating because lonely around him and it dating because lonely be nice to date someone again Any advice? I don't want to get hurt again Or windup in a serious relationship that is hard to get out of. Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!
The mind is a funny thing, we can convince ourselves of almost anything. All it did was leave me feeling trapped and empty. I began questioning dating because lonely and trying to find an escape to the life I actually wanted to be living. A love that is born in loneliness is not a love that is destined for growth — the roots are weak and longevity is hopeless. You have to be ready, you have to find the strength within. All that will do is leave you with new holes every time you move on. Find someone who can make you smile without telling a joke. Find someone who interests you and who you want to learn from.
After continuous texting with the same guy for weeks, you've come to conclude that his repetitive AWOL nature may be due to one thing: He's only into you because he's lonely. It's easy to fall into a relationship with someone who may not be in it or into you for the right reasons. Sometimes, you're just a placeholder. Or, in this case, maybe your dude just has no one else to dating because lonely to. If you suspect that you might just be a time-filler for the guy you're currently seeing, your intuition may be trying to tell you something.