Beth Kim, 37 years old
What a neighborhood! These men have told lies to friends and family members, attempted to blackmail their former spouses by threatening to spread vicious lies about them, stolen money from them, tried to turn children against their mothers, become explosively angry, even physically violent when challenged, and have uniformly laid blame for the failure of the marriage at the feet of the ex-wife. She is, in fact, a quite devoted and capable mother while he consistently manipulates their children with gifts to enlist sympathy on his side but will also dump them on their mother during his custodial days whenever he happens to have a date. The word I use to describe dating a narcissistic female is reptilian: At the same time, I feel that I do understand their psychology and what drives them.
Sunday, July 10, The Narc at Midlife: Narcissistic Decompensation. Later-life crises, such as one experienced on the eve of retirement, also may reflect narcissistic pathology. For example, a year-old married man was referred for depression by his internist after a month-long course of fluoxetine had failed to improve his symptoms. He was dating a narcissistic female successful self-made businessman, married with grown children, but for almost a year he had experienced a general lack of zest, anhedonia, and a sense of detachment from his loving wife.
Narcissists are always on the hunt for supply—gratifications of their egos for applause, adulation, worldly power, gorgeous willing, adoring, malleable partners. Narcissists are not loyal to anyone but themselves. They are ruthlessly wanton and careless about the feelings of others, dating a narcissistic female their own children. After all, if your child is very attractive and has a myriad of talents and capacities, the narcissistic mother or father will have endless bragging rights. They tell great stories about their devotion to their spouse and children but this makes for great drama and image enhancement. Spouses who get out of line by psychologically working to become individuals and separate from the narcissist become the enemy.
Dating a narcissistic female
More about dating a narcissistic female:
Only a small fraction of the women I have dated have acted-out consistently on the narcissistic spectrum. I have combined the experiences with those women into a composite for the purposes of this article, and I have attempted to disguise their identity. This composite is the female narcissist. There seems to be a notion that narcissistic behavior is usually perpetrated by men. I hope this article helps to counter-balance that stereotype. Most of us can express traits of narcissism and codependence at different times in our lives, and in different relationships, especially when under stress. Narcissism and codependence are both diseases of responsibility. The dating a narcissistic female takes too little responsibility, while the codependent takes too much responsibility. In a healthy system, responsibility is well aligned with response-ability, so that adaptive action can be taken.
Our mother is our first love. We initially learn about ourselves and our world through interactions with her. We naturally long for her physical and emotional sustenance, her touch, her smile, and her protection. Her empathetic reflection dating a narcissistic female our feelings, wants, and needs informs us who we are and that we have value. Like Narcissus in the Greek myth, she sees only a reflection of herself.
Feeling attached to a narcissist or sociopath dating a narcissistic female though he treats us badly is a constant source of angst for those in recovery from toxic relationships. Why am I obsessed with no closure? Why do I feel so connected to someone who feels no connection to me? He simply is what he is and what he is is no good.