Phyllis Duran, 35 years old
I only saw what I wanted to see and denied the rest. Dating after abuse, for me, was dating after narcissistic abuse. But I was successful in love after that. I remarried. I am still with this gorgeous man now. How did I not go head first into the next abusive relationship?
Learning signs of narcissistic abuse, healing, and moving on. In the three years since leaving my narcissist ex-husbanddating again after narcissistic abuse has been a process of learning and unlearning—learning about personality disorders, domestic violencethe legal system; unlearning all the lies that made up the bedrock of my marriage; dating after narcissistic abuse to feel valuable again; unlearning my pattern of placing blind trust in strangers; learning that, despite my original Pollyanna view of the world, sometimes people are simply not good. I have joked that this time has been a sabbatical of sorts funny, not funny—I knowin that I have engaged in real painful work. I have approached the material with studiousness, reading after my children are asleep, bookmarking relevant websites, dog-earing pages, and underlining sentences that make me shake with recognition. And along the way—with each dating after narcissistic abuse read, article consumed, and similar story heard in my online support groups—my experiences and memories have been validated. For the first two-and-a-half years after leaving my ex, I did not date at all.
Getting into the dating game after narcissistic abuse is tough as you will find that you develop trust issues and your confidence and self-esteem will be rock bottom. I write this blog sharing some of my own personal experiences. I see so many posts on my Facebook forum of people entering one narcissistic relationship into another when old wounds have not healed. Dating after narcissistic abuse are simply not ready to date.
Dating after narcissistic abuse
More about dating after narcissistic abuse:
Why is this? Is this the right thing to do? This is such a huge topic dating after narcissistic abuse of course ultimately it is healthy to want to create a love relationship, whether we have been abused or not. In fact we are all coded to do so I believe if we wish to. And after the massive wake-up call of narcissistic abuse — clearly there is no way we want to go through that again — yet some of us do I did twiceand many other people I know have done so as well. So … is our homework know thy enemy? As you read on I hope you understand that the homework is really all about ourselves.
Sep Going slow. Nothing more than a little hand holding. The guy is going to have to be special; mean something to me and be worthy of receiving me. Not only that, the evil soul tie that the narcissist had over me was not an easy demonic influence to wash myself of. I dont want to create another bond like that again, dating after narcissistic abuse its someone with LIGHT running through their veins. Evaluating this persons behavior over time to determine if they are worthy of my trust. Are they consistent? Do they respect my boundaries? Are they able to express feelings?
Jul Ive started dating actively again, after a period of not putting myself dating after narcissistic abuse there. I flirt. I think fondly of a new person, compare and contrast and analyze, to the nth degree how narcissistic they are, how reciprocal their behavior, do they have character, boundaries, do they show respect for me….